NDP 2022

[Carbon82]

1 hour ago, BanCoe said:

not I say 1 ☝️☝️☝️

Aiyah it just like Chinese custom for married woman, 回娘家 (return to her parental home) mah

Happy 57th National Day Singapore!

As with the theme, let stay stronger together to weather the storm ahead of us, and hopefully the next rainbow is not too far away.

[BanCoe]

39 minutes ago, Carbon82 said:

Aiyah it just like Chinese custom for married woman, 回娘家 (return to her parental home) mah

Happy 57th National Day, Singapore!

As with the theme, let stay stronger together to weather the storm ahead of us, and hopefully the next rainbow is not too far away.

Balik Kampung ………

[13177]

1 hour ago, BanCoe said:

not I say 1 ☝️☝️☝️

National Day? Just another normal PH to me. Dont feel much about national day. 😂

[mersaylee]

9 minutes ago, 13177 said:

National Day? Just another normal PH to me. Dont feel much about national day. 😂

I can't wait to see my taxes in the air later...😂

[Freeder]

After the demise of LKY, every National Day seems like just another PH…Seems to have lost the solidarity and feel of old Sgp…

[Kopites]

11 hours ago, Windwaver said:

Not so exciting for this Gen Y

https://www.todayonline.com/gen-y-speaks/singapore-study-abroad-home-united-kingdom-university-1960606

Gen Y Speaks: I returned to Singapore after 3 years abroad, and needed to learn how to find ‘home’ again

I touched down in Singapore in September 2019. This time, I was back for good. After three years spent studying in England, it was time to come home.

But this “home”, strangely, didn’t feel like one anymore.

Walking out of Changi Airport, I immediately felt the clammy humidity as beads of perspiration started staining my shirt.

And despite my parents’ best efforts to prepare my room and make me feel welcomed, I felt strangely out of place.

For one, the peace I had enjoyed in Nottingham, was a distant memory now marked by the daily honking of cars and the din they make when drivers step on the pedal.

For the first fortnight, I didn’t have a proper night’s sleep. It wasn’t just the noise that kept me awake.

In the United Kingdom, I had a peace of mind knowing that I was there for my studies. Back in Singapore, I now have to confront the uncertainty of finding a job, which left me in deep unease.

Then, there were the people I left behind in the UK. They were folks I had come to call my friends and family in the three years I was there. Suddenly, I felt alienated from the people I met back in Singapore.

That sense of alienation started with simple things, like realising that going around Singapore to find good food, wasn’t that appealing. Rather than cafe-hopping, searching for the next recommended place to eat, I now preferred long walks.

This feeling graduated into a deeper dissonance with what I saw as important. Milestones that used to be familiar — like getting a Build-to-Order (BTO) flat, marriage, and babies — didn’t match what I wanted for my own life.

I struggled to adjust to the crowds in the MRT and buses. I struggled with understanding why friends would frequently talk about BTOs or salaries or marriages. I struggled with how fast people were always rushing from one place to another.

Unlike in the UK, there was never any time for the random conversations that someone would strike up with me in a supermarket, or on a bus.

I felt as if conversations with friends needed an agenda before they would be willing to meet. I would preface my requests to meet with, “Hey, I wanted to chat to you about...” Even if we wanted to meet, I needed to book their time three weeks in advance.

HOUSED, BUT NOT HOMED

The most important change was perhaps the place I felt I’d lost.

Sure, I had a roof over my head, but I didn’t feel I belonged to this place. I felt housed, but not homed.

There wasn’t the warmth and cosiness of feeling safe and sound, of feeling that I knew people, and that people knew me.

How did it come to this? I spent 21 years growing up in Singapore. Have my three years abroad changed me that much?

I didn’t know what I was facing, but I felt a big hole within me. Sometimes, the pain felt so physical and I knew I was hurting badly.

For a month, I stuffed myself with cakes, cookies and chocolates, to fill the emptiness within me. I ended up gaining 8kg in a month.

My therapist recommended that I speak to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist prescribed antidepressants.

On October 6 that year, I took my first antidepressant. Popping in the first pill seemed a stark contrast to the promised picture of success after my graduation.

But working with my therapist, I gradually learnt about the grief I was going through. It wasn’t easy.

I used to think that grief only involved the loss of a cherished person. But my therapist also showed me how grief could come from the loss of a cherished experience.

I was told that I experienced the reality of reverse culture shock, where the return to your home country needs an accompanying adaptive process. Many speak about how moving to a new culture is difficult. For me, moving back was a greater difficulty.

HOME IS WHERE THE HEART IS

I stopped taking antidepressants on Feb 2, 2020. I felt happier, and after checking with my doctor, I stopped taking them.

There isn’t a single turning point that I can mark. But two things helped.

Perhaps it was my realisation that home is where the heart is. Home is not a physical place. It’s an emotional place.

And to call someplace home, was for me, about finding a place where I could feel safe to be “me”, and to be with people who loved me, whether or not they were physically with me.

For me, to find home again was about building a place where my heart could stay without feeling estranged.

Tangibly, this meant that I had to actively remind myself of the times which I had enjoyed with the people I loved, and where I felt fully alive. I filled my room with physical anchors of my favourite memories in the UK — like the Christmas gift from my host, or the keychain that accompanied me for three years, or pictures with my friends.

Despite the time difference, I also deliberately scheduled fortnightly calls with my friends in the UK. These friendships, from a time where we studied and grew up together, were precious in how they reminded me of a time when I had fewer responsibilities.

At the same time, I learnt that reintegrating into Singapore has been about seeing familiar places with fresh eyes.

Whenever I go to a seldom-frequented part of Singapore, I remind myself about the last time I was there. I remember, “Oh, I haven’t been to Jurong for six years!” It forces me to look at what’s changed in the place, and to recall the memories once made there.

It has also been about remoulding old friendships. Friends change, and I’ve changed. It is difficult, but necessary, to recognise that certain friendships have come to pass. We may no longer connect as well as before, and that’s okay.

Just as there was a summer when those friendships blossomed, there is also a winter when those eventually end. It’s also doubling down on the friendships that do matter, initiating meetups and activities I enjoy.

Sometimes, I pinch myself and wonder if the UK ever happened. Then, I receive a letter in the post, with a London stamp, and I remember — maybe the experience is over, but the relationships formed there, have only started.

When I catch a whiff of freshly baked buns from BreadTalk, my mind is taken back to those late evenings in Lidl, a supermarket in the UK. Or when I pull on my tights, and I remember how those tights took me through the cold winters.

The feeling of home is deeply visceral. The senses of smell, touch, and taste can bring you back to a place you missed.

Someone once told me: “Just move on. The UK is over.”

I don’t think so.

I think it’s about leaning fully into the memories that you love, and recognising that while they may have passed, they are still great recollections.

I’ve come to embrace every sudden moment that takes me back to Nottingham. Yes, they can be painful. But losing the things we love doesn’t mean ignoring the pain. It means embracing the loss, and making meaning from it.

We’ve all lost something in our lives. A cherished person, experience, or even a familiar pre-Covid life.

And maybe sometimes, it’s leaning into the pang that memory causes, and saying: “Wow. That was a beautiful moment. And I will choose to make more.”

Moving back to Singapore has meant the loss of beautiful moments once made abroad, but it’s also meant the building of new memories.

The tears shed when I shared my suffering with a friend. The time in the street soccer court where I pat a teammate’s sweaty back over a great goal. The warmth of a hug.

The Singapore story was one forged by migrant people, with their backs to the wall, when few believed that we would ever make it. It was forged by people from many different lands, far from home, who found and built a new home in Singapore.

And this National Day, perhaps it’s a reminder that we don’t just find home. We build it.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

John Lim is a motivational speaker and a graduate from the University of Nottingham. He speaks and writes on healthy, and happier workplaces for Gen Zs, and regularly shares on liveyoungandwell.com.

I can resonate with the author.

Culture shock can happen to anyone. Not only gen Y. 

[Kopites]

5 minutes ago, Freeder said:

After the demise of LKY, every National Day seems like just another PH…Seems to have lost the solidarity and feel of old Sgp…

Just came back from breakfast and  noticed not many HDB dwellers hang out  national flag. 🤔

 

[Freeder]

17 minutes ago, Kopites said:

Just came back from breakfast and  noticed not many HDB dwellers hang out  national flag. 🤔

 

All go JB liao..

Living costs here 太够力了。

Edited August 9, 2022 by Freeder

[13177]

10 minutes ago, Kopites said:

Just came back from breakfast and  noticed not many HDB dwellers hang out  national flag. 🤔

 

This has been like this for many many years liao. Not many people hang out national flag. Like one blk of over 30+ storey hdb flat, barely less than 15 units hang out the flag.

[13177]

20 minutes ago, Freeder said:

After the demise of LKY, every National Day seems like just another PH…Seems to have lost the solidarity and feel of old Sgp…

Even when LKY still around, national day also seems just another PH to me. Last last time on every year national day i default would hang out with friends, go out and catch a movie on this day. Not interested to watch the NDP parade at all. Lol.

[Jman888]

govt just give gst cash, go jb x3 to spend. 

[Fcw75]

[Windwaver]

7 hours ago, Kopites said:

I can resonate with the author.

Culture shock can happen to anyone. Not only gen Y. 

Another NDP news , quite inspirational

#NDP2022 Hunger is labeled "no contraceptive". Husband and wife rely on one person's salary to raise their children. Although there is no car, no helper, no tuition, we are not poor.

 

[Windwaver]

https://www.8world.com/singapore/ndp-2022-large-family-celebrates-birthdays-1883661

一家十口两人国庆期间过生日 善心人士请吃生日大餐

在新加坡靠着一个人的薪金，抚养八个小孩，可能吗？45岁的徐振雄会告诉你，完全可以，而且他表示他们的生活很富足。

恰逢二女儿和太太的生日和国庆日“撞期”，徐振雄接受了善心人士的邀请，一家大小浩浩荡荡地到餐馆享用国庆生日大餐。

“因为防疫措施的种种限制，这是我们在疫情后，一家十口第一次能全家坐在餐馆的同一个餐桌上吃饭。”

徐振雄和45岁的太太缪嘉玲在初级学院相识相爱。两人经过了八年的爱情长跑，在26岁时结婚。三年后，两人生下了大女儿徐亮慈。如今，夫妻俩育有五个女儿和三个儿子；最小的儿子今年两岁，大女儿已有17岁。

妻子曾流产 八宝得来不易

但两人的生育过程并非一帆风顺。在生下大女儿之前，缪嘉玲曾经经历流产的伤痛。

“我们的第一胎流产，当时我们受到很大的打击。我的太太被诊断患有多囊卵巢综合症，怀孕的几率比常人低一半以上。医生建议我们使用其他人工受孕的方法但我们希望顺其自然。没想到接着生了八个。”

生下大女儿后，任职教师的缪嘉玲便离职，在家相夫教子。也是教师的徐振雄成了家里的唯一经济支柱。他坦言，夫妻俩的生活方式一向来节俭朴实，也有自己的一套省钱妙方，因此一家十口并不愁吃穿，并不需要经济支助。

没车没佣人没补习：我们不穷

住在七房式超大型组屋单位（Jumbo  flat）的这一家十口每周都会先规划好所需的开支，每一周的食物和所需品开销是大约300元。一家人也尽量在家用餐，并到巴刹购买较新鲜和平价的食材。他们没有聘请帮佣、也不拥车。

徐振雄分享他的另一省钱妙招，一餐仅用一杯半的印度香米（basmati rice），就能喂饱一家十口。他表示，印度香米的升糖指數较低，一杯半的米煮过后可以膨胀好几倍，加上还有肉菜，足以喂饱十人。

“大家庭的开支并没有外人想象的那么高，是看你怎么分配。我们没有车，没有佣人，没有送孩子去补习或课外活动，其实比想象中省下更多。”

孩子自己搭巴士煮食 价值观比成绩重要

徐振雄夫妇俩从小就培养孩子独立向善，自己搭巴士来回学校，大女儿从八岁起就自己做饭，因此“大的喂小的”，这样一来夫妻俩也不用太费心。他认为，培养孩子的价值观和与孩子相处比考到好成绩更重要。

“孩子们搭巴士看到司机都会打招呼、看到组屋区的清洁工人也会自动买饮料给他们喝向他们问好。我们的家境虽然不富裕，但当孩子们做义工回来时会跟我们说‘爸爸我们有的比他们多很多’。看到他们懂得知足感恩，也让我们觉得很贴心。”

徐振雄坦言，大家庭的另一好处是大家都能互相照应，一起分享。孩子们也很少用手机或看电视，一家人喜欢一起相处、聊天和互动。但大家庭免不了吵闹和相互比较。冠病疫情期间的限制，更加剧了大家庭面对的挑战，包括彼此之间必须保持安全距离以及无法全家一起外出用餐。

“记得有一次我们一家人走在大街上被安全距离大使训斥，他们不相信新加坡有这么大的家庭，硬要我们隔着一米距离走，要我们‘分家’。我们也很担心得冠病，因为没有隔离的空间，但‘庆幸’的是我们全家都‘中’过了。”

善心人士要请客  他坚持付部分费用

妻子的生日在8月10日，二女儿的生日又刚好适逢国庆日，一家大小在机缘巧合下，难得有机会外出同桌用餐。

现年66岁的老式海南餐厅British Hainan的老板潘得利表示，几个月前，他接到一名善心人士来电，说在报章上读到徐振雄一家的故事，希望请他们吃一顿。而他的一名顾客又刚好认识徐振雄，就这样促成一家十口昨晚（8日）到餐馆享用国庆生日大餐。而这一天也刚好是餐馆开张的九周年纪念日。

“其实我一直都很想和这家人见面。徐振雄也没有完全接受善心人士请客，坚持要付部分的用餐费。我看到这一对夫妇带着八个孩子不容易，但孩子都很听话，夫妇俩也管教有方，真是太佩服他们了。”

被人批“没避孕” 夫妻俩分享育儿心得

尽管大多数人对徐振雄一家的第一印象是惊讶中带钦佩，但徐家也遇过不少负面评语。

“有网民问我们是不是没有避孕，之前有媒体拍到我不让女儿买一包4.75元的薯片。我告诉女儿说等到有折扣再买。有网民就批评我说，一个爸爸怎么连4.75元的薯片也不让女儿买。”

面对其他人的闲言闲语，徐振雄和太太都尽量不去理会。他表示，虽然一家人无法经常出外旅行，必须省吃俭用，但夫妇俩都确保孩子们吃得饱穿得暖。最重要的是，大家庭一起相处的‘热闹’和‘相互照应’，是无法取代的。

徐振雄分享养育孩子的心得时呼吁其他父母，不要把教育孩子的工作交给其他人处理或过于注重孩子的课业成绩，而是珍惜和孩子们相处的时光。

“我教书教了20年，最让我难过的是看到父母都把能和孩子相处的时间都用来送他们去补习和进行课外活动。孩子最重要的是爱和时间，如果父母能把送孩子补习和去课外活动的时间，拿来和他们相处更好。虽然我们有八个孩子，但我每天都会抽空和每一个孩子聊天，在和孩子们相处的过程中，我们也能学到很多。”

[mersaylee]

Gentlemen, akan datang 😁

[Windwaver]

[Karoon]

Hope that last red lion didn't break any bones 

[Atonchia]

7 hours ago, 13177 said:

Even when LKY still around, national day also seems just another PH to me. Last last time on every year national day i default would hang out with friends, go out and catch a movie on this day. Not interested to watch the NDP parade at all. Lol.

I went cycling with my friends😅

To make the round the island more meaningful 🤣

My 7th RTI since started the 1st one on National Day 2020.