Adoption

[Good-Carbuyer]

Anybody here is adopted?

 

I am adopted, together with my twin brother. Yes, both of us are adopted together by my single mum.

 

How is it like to be adopted?

 

I feel normal. Being fed n schooled like any normal kid growing up in the 80's by a single parent.

 

Do you want to know who your real parents are?

 

No.

 

If you know who your real parents are, are you tempted to live with your real parents?

 

No.

 

Would you love your adopted parents less if you found that you were adopted?

 

No.

You so lucky, your parent loved you

 

[Good-Carbuyer]

I have a friend who just adopted a son.

 

They are adjusting to life now. Their own son welcomes the new brother. They say goodnight to each other like The Waltons every night.

 

It could not be anymore normal.

 

Problem is, majority Asian perceptions towards adoption are abnormal.

I wonder if Asians faced more financial difficulties, so are more reluctant to adopt unknown, just in case could not cope with the unkown (like chronic genetic defects)

[Genie47]

I wonder if Asians faced more financial difficulties, so are more reluctant to adopt unknown, just in case could not cope with the unkown (like chronic genetic defects)

 

No, Asians have the karma thing all wrapped around them too much. I have seen people gossip on trains when some family with either autistic or Down's child come in. Like they had done something wrong to have such a child.

 

They have the money but will not except any unperfect child because it is a progeny of "evil people".

 

The thing about the universe and mother nature is this. It is not fair. We get by and will get by. Downs or autistic is still a human being. Not a product of evil doing.

[Ebert]

it is truly a living hell taking care of an autistic child

i should know

my bro has one

 

it can be very very taxing on their marriage too

[RadX]

The real parents you hve is those who looked after you since birth......and yeah, why should i want to meet my real mother when she dumped me....even for a valid reason, the past is the past...

[Kezg1]

No, Asians have the karma thing all wrapped around them too much. I have seen people gossip on trains when some family with either autistic or Down's child come in. Like they had done something wrong to have such a child.

 

They have the money but will not except any unperfect child because it is a progeny of "evil people".

 

The thing about the universe and mother nature is this. It is not fair. We get by and will get by. Downs or autistic is still a human being. Not a product of evil doing.

 

 

 

Agree with u on this.....more likely with the old generation...But I also do not know much about Gen Y thinking on such matter....

 

[Pocus]

How is it like to be adopted?

I don't tell others that I'm adopted due to the stigma and asian mentality...unless they are true close friends. Anyway being adopted with not affect my life much, it's only a status(something like divorce) not a disability.

 

Do you want to know who your real parents are?

Yes since young, but I never and will never acknowledge them. Even if my adopted parents wanted me to. I'll just call them uncle and auntie.

 

If you know who your real parents are, are you tempted to live with your real parents?

No, I have no feelings for them. Yes they gave me life but nothing else, my adopted parents gave me true life and gave me true selfless love.....

 

Would you love your adopted parents less if you found that you were adopted?

No. I love my adopted parents more than my real parents. My real parents have other siblings to take care of....my adopted parents only have me and I will stay with them forever.

 

 

 

reply on behalf of a close friend.

[Darryn]

I am adopted, one of three in my family. This was because my (adoptive) mother had "woman's troubles" and could not conceive.

 

I have an older brother and a younger sister. Each of us has had different experiences. I have been in contact with my "birth mother" (I have only one mum however) shortly after I turned 20, I have met her twice, and correspond with her about twice a year...just to keep her updated, but in actual fact she means nothing to me. During the time of my birth (mid 70s) in a conservative area, that is what life was like. Girls did not have much sex education and mistakes happen, and there was no such thing as a single parent family back then.

 

I know the name of my birth father but have not been able to find him yet. Looking out of curiosity only, not because I "need" to find him or anything like that.

 

Growing up I had parents, my experience was absolutely no different to anyone elses and as far as I am concerned what makes a family (or parents) is the caring and nurturing, not any "blood ties" or anything else. Just imagine this way....lets say wifey have an affair you don't know about, and she has baby to that person, as far as you know baby is yours - would it be any different to your own child? Of course not - it is all in the attitude.

 

As to the question "would you want to be with your real parents", I AM with my my REAL parents, and have been all my life. My real parents are the ones that cared for me, and nurtured me, and taught me right from wrong, gave me the space to grow and develop. There is no other parent for me. In point of fact, please do be careful of terminology - the phrase "real parents" has the potential to be hurtful of both parents and children, I would much prefer to hear adoptive and birth. Some may or may not agree with me, but by saying someone other than my mum and dad are my "real" parents is quite insulting to the commitment they made to me, and the way that they took care of me growing up.

 

And how could you love your parents less? To put the question back to you, what % of blood do you need before someone is your "real" parents? What about IVF with a sperm donor? Is the father the real father or not? Or what about surrogate mother? Is the mum the real mum? Parenting is about the commitment and emotional bond, this does not need blood ties.

 

 

[Thaiyotakamli]

I appreciate the comedy time out but I think u overstep the line here..... :wub:

seriously i was adopted by my stepfather and i dun want to know who is my real father anyway, my life is normal and considered happy...

[Thaiyotakamli]

Can know your budget? Terms and conditions?

term and condition:

1 fill in application form about your particular and go for an interview

2 burn your birth cert

3 pay $1m to me

 

my budget will be $800k

[Watwheels]

I'm waiting for Angelina Jolie to adopt me.

[Tarzan666]

In Islam..if ur adopted, u cannot carry ur adoptive father name.

For eg, cannot put bin "ur adoptive father"..

 

[Ysc3]

bottomline here : the term parents = the ppl who take care of you and bring you up properly and responsibly.

 

parents not = the ppl who gave birth to you.

[Ebert]

some of you with your life story

is truly inspirational

 

I am truly proud of you guys even though our ideas may be different but it comes from the heart and that is more important

 

so far it seems all have good experience with being adopted

[Good-Carbuyer]

term and condition:

1 fill in application form about your particular and go for an interview

2 burn your birth cert

3 pay $1m to me

 

my budget will be $800k

Haha, This is ticklish, you got to be kidding. You profit $200K for doing next to nothing about adoption? I believe you undercut the local Authority with your price

Edited October 18, 2010 by Good-Carbuyer

[RadX]

some of you with your life story

is truly inspirational

 

I am truly proud of you guys even though our ideas may be different but it comes from the heart and that is more important

 

so far it seems all have good experience with being adopted

 

I do not think there should be any issues with being adopted. People still love you, and you may be put up for adoption for various reasons....

My story, well, i even escaped death in the womb ...Back then, in 1969, when abortion was legalised, he option not to carry out adoption was given and my 'mother' stayed in Marymount convent until I came out...then she left, and I was adopted thereafter....

So, my blood mutha had fun of some sorts, and then i was the product....

[Joseph22]

I do not think there should be any issues with being adopted. People still love you, and you may be put up for adoption for various reasons....

My story, well, i even escaped death in the womb ...Back then, in 1969, when abortion was legalised, he option not to carry out adoption was given and my 'mother' stayed in Marymount convent until I came out...then she left, and I was adopted thereafter....

So, my blood mutha had fun of some sorts, and then i was the product....

 

 

actually some have no choice. during those era, family planning was not in the mind of ppl (most might not even be aware of it). hence those really poor one, got no choice but to sell the child or give the child to the rich couples.

 

some could be rape victim but cannot bare to abort their child but also cannot bare to take a look at the result of their abuses.

Edited October 19, 2010 by Joseph22

[RadX]

actually some have no choice. during those era, family planning was not in the mind of ppl (most might not even be aware of it). hence those really poor one, got no choice but to sell the child or give the child to the rich couples.

 

some could be rape victim but cannot bare to abort their child but also cannot bare to take a look at the result of their abuses.

 

yup....and i wonder how many lost fetuses went to heaven this way