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Showing results for tags 'joke'.
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OK, I admit I just get to know this site recently, and had a good laugh at some of the "news". Enjoy... e:Ny1 was meant to be a secure password, Honda finally admits The Honda e:Ny1 was never meant to be called that, the company has finally conceded, after it emerged that the name was actually the result of a comical administrative error. According to a leaked internal report, a member of staff accidentally copy-and-pasted part of a secure password into the online trademark application. An investigation was launched but the employee was spared disciplinary action on the grounds that it was ‘long past 3pm on a Friday’ when the form was submitted. “This is all very embarrassing,” said the employee on the condition of anonymity. “But who among us hasn’t made a boo boo at the end of the week?” “My heart goes out to everybody who’s had to type out e:Ny1 since then. I’m also gutted for my mother in law, because if passwords didn’t need at least one number, capital letter and special character, that Honda would have her maiden name now. “It would’ve tickled her pink. And she’s in her seventies, so she undoubtedly would’ve bought one.” Honda has now called for members of the public to suggest a new name for e:Ny1. Popular candidates on social media include the Honda Typo, Honda Captcha and Honda TwoFactorAuthentication. Meanwhile, a spokesperson for the Intellectual Property Office declined to comment officially, but said: “This isn’t the first time this has happened. I’m not pointing fingers, but did you think Toyota bZ4X was intentional?”
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Will Smith won his first Academy Award on Sunday (March 27), capturing the best actor honour for his portrayal of Richard Williams, the determined father who raised tennis champions Venus and Serena Williams, in King Richard. Earlier in the ceremony, he had seemingly punched comedian Chris Rock on stage after Rock cracked a joke about his wife, Jada Pinkett Smith. Chris Rock and Will Smith had an altercation during the 2022 Oscar telecast. Rock appeared on stage to present the Oscar for documentary feature and made a joke about Jada Pinkett Smith being in “G.I. Jane” because of her shaved head. Smith then took the stage to punch Rock. Although it appeared to be a joke at first, Smith returned to his seat and yelled at Rock, “Keep my wife’s name out of your f**king mouth!” https://variety.com/2022/film/news/chris-rock-punches-will-smith-oscars-fight-1235216387/- 103 replies
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1. It takes 64 muscles to frown and 16 muscles to laugh. 2. Please do not reply in this thread unless you're adding a joke. 3. Please post only 1 Joke per 24 Singapore Hours per UserID to avoid cluttering. 4. Have an open mind.
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Lol....some say will spoil https://www.cnbc.com/2021/03/29/vw-accidentally-leaks-new-name-for-its-us-operations-voltswagen.html
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Over the years, some have asked me for views on which brand is good In the early days I've tried Falken. My ears comprain Then tried Dunlop. It was like....meh Then Toyo came along. Not bad but wear rate wasn't great Then Goodyear started to enter the market w the F1s. First tried the GSD3. Sticky but slight noisy becoz the directional pattern. Subsequently tried the Asymmetric 2 & 3. Didn't disappoint Also tried something more premium like the Continental Sport Contact 3, followed up by the CSC 5. Currently using CSC 6. It's all good But throughout all these years, somehow i never tried Michelin. Maybe the Continentals were so good that I was contented. In fact, the closest i got to anything remotely related to Michelin was Tim Ho Wan..... But many people say Michelin rubber is very good Deep down i know they're probably right. So many voices can't be wrong. Hence, I decided to put my faith in the Bibendum or better known as the fat Michelin man. So I took the plunge. Now I'm a proud owner of my first set of Michelin Performance. Run flats somemore....
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Two jokers trick the internet into thinking their Fiat Doblo did 200km/h
jameskarlchan posted a blog entry in MyAutoBlog
In case you're wondering what a Fiat Doblo looks like. It's a goods vehicle. Why is this information important for this story? Take a look at this latest viral video But, I don’t understand Malay! Don't worry! We translated the whole conversation for you thanks to my malay colleagues! Sounds similar? I think they made this video in response to another video of two guys doing 180km/hr on the expressway in a Suzuki Swift Sport. We wrote an article about that just yesterday btw (blatant backlinking opportunities should not be wasted). You may click the link below to check the story out. https://www.mycarforum.com/blogs/entry/6008-someone-is-keen-to-show-that-their-swift-sport-can-do-180kmh-on-the-cte/ On top of that, the person who uploaded the video included this in the caption It's a good laugh If you didn't realise, they weren't actually speeding. The speedometer of the vehicle seems to be faulty, and these two funny guys thought that they could have a bit of fun with it. The driver's laughter made me lol more than once. That’s for sure. Don't need call polis please and thank you! -
China Canteens Look Like Exam Halls After Virus Outbreak, Netizens Joke Around Like Invigilators source: https://mustsharenews.com/china-canteens-exam-halls/ Netizens In China Joke About ‘Exam Hall’ Canteens As Tables Are Set Apart From Each Other Although the ongoing coronavirus pandemic has turned some places in China into a ghost town, it has not hindered Chinese netizens’ sense of humour. Tables in canteens in China now stand so far apart, they look odd. While this measure may seem perfectly rational, the topic started trending on Weibo with 3.14 million posts to date. The topic was 食堂吃出了考试的感觉 (shi tang chi chu le kao shi de gan jue), which loosely translates to “I felt like I was sitting for an examination in the canteen”. Netizens mimicked invigilators The familiar, yet anxiety-inducing sight amused many netizens, who contributed pictures of the canteens they ate at. To add to the humour, they imitated the way invigilators would talk during the examination. “Let’s see who will hand in their scripts first. No sitting closely and talking while you eat.” Another netizen added: “No peeping at others eating. The student over there please turn back.” There was even a ‘signage’ in front of this canteen warning others that this “examination hall canteen” only allows one person per table. For many students, lunch hour has suddenly become an examination. Maybe they’ll have to hand up empty plates to pass the test. But what if the tables and chairs come in inseparable sets? This school used cardboard dividers which they even cling-wrapped for better protection. This netizen said she liked the exam hall format more — because she can watch her dramas without being interrupted. At least those who often have their meals alone won’t be the only ones doing so now. A strange but necessary measure Not seeing people mingling or hearing the usual lunch hour buzz in school canteens may be an unsettling phenomenon, but we know this is the best way for now. Hopefully once the virus stops spreading, people can have their social lives back. What do you think about this solution? Let us know in the comments below.- 4 replies
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10 Colleagues to avoid as personally encountered by this team 1) The Siao Zabor 2) The Spy 3) The panhandlers 4) The pretenders 5) The Headliners 6) The Director 7) The Fake Princess 8 ) The 'Old Dry' 9) The Bird People 10) The Tight Shirt Gang Hahahhahahahah. So funny but so true!
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Dream Job and Yet Complain - Singapore Parody! Funny Commercial! This video has been around for quite sometime. If you see this for the first time, don't fall off from your chair. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9v9_NWPh_g Massage Uncle Part II Massage Uncle Part III
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I can't imagine paying so much for a number plate....even the rich ppl might think twice abt spending $80K....or am i wrong abt the rich ppl mentality? http://www.sgcarmart.com/used_cars/info.ph...595&DL=1000 -
Hello , the story starts from here : I was driving along Bukit panjang - Jelapang RD and there was a cross junction the traffic light is red and i stopped there ,i was at the left lane, there are only 2 lanes , the road arrow shows that left lane - you can turn left or go straight , right lane you can turn right or go straight , and i was waiting for the traffic light to turn green then suddenly a GTR R35 was beside me, that GTR driver turn the sound volume so loud even i am inside the car can also heard it, but thats still okay . the problem is that When the light turn green that idiot driver suddenly turn to the left to left turn and my car was super super super near his car and nearly buang him if i buang him i jialat my fault and the insurance now sibei expensive le... then i horn him he like not happy he stop untill 10kph for around 5s then suddenly he zao dam fast ... wtf wrong with those drivers nowadays... think you drive GTR R35 big F*** isit ...
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The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson , died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.' Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.' St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle? ' Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...' God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?' Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?' God said, 'Ah, yes.' 'Well,' said Arthur, 'professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention ! 1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension 2. It chatters constantly at high speeds 3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much 4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust 5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!! 'Hmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.' God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. 'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours'.
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Published on Apr 14, 2014 6:30 PM By Venessa Thor Some say it is meaningless. Others dismiss the logo as unfinished. Memes were also spun off, with one depicting it as a bar graph. Yes, the logo for the soon-to-be-opened National Gallery Singapore has been the subject of endless ridicule since it was revealed on April 2. The minimalist logo features two simple rectangular blocks - one taller and narrower than the other. The logo comes in either red or grey. Credit of the revamp goes to home-grown design firm Asylum. What was thought to be a belated April's Fool joke was actually the result of three months' worth of effort, Mr Chris Lee, founder of Asylum. Mr Lee defended his design, saying that the reductionism of the two blocks is open to interpretation, just like art. "The two blocks are originally derived from the two buildings that are joined to form the National Gallery. It could also represent two platforms or two dialog boxes. Art should be a two way conversation," he explained. While netizens bicker over whether the logo is abstract art or just plain ridiculous, we find three other logos that had also left many scratching their heads. London 2012 Olympics First unveiled in 2007, the colourful logo for the 2012 Olympic games in London was criticised as looking like something a child could draw with crayons. Others brayed that it resembled a swastika. Yet there were those who said it spelled the word "Zion" in a pro-Israeli conspiracy, which led Iran to threaten to boycott the Olympics. However, this boycott did not occur eventually. Sebastian Coe, the chairman of aid the chairman of London's 2012 organising committee, defended the logo, saying its vibrant colours and jagged design were meant to appeal to young people. "It is an invitation to take part and be involved." Gap In 2010, Gap changed its 20-year-old logo. The capitalised serif font, Spire, in a blue box was changed to one with 'Gap' in Helvetica, with the 'p' overlapping a small blue square. The new design was blasted as cheap and tacky. Gap quickly switched back to its original logo a week later. iTunes Fans were outraged when Apple switched the simple iTunes logo in 2010. The original design of a CD and a blue music note made its launch in 2001. It was replaced by that showing a black music note on a flat blue bubble in 2010. The switch was to reflect the trend towards digital downloads, and the growing obsoleteness of CDs. Users criticised the design as looking "amateurish". Apple founder Steve Jobs apparently replied in an e-mail to a complainant with just two words: "We disagree."
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Winning Eleven configuration and FIFA old skool configuration
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Being the co-founder of the world's biggest search engine definitely has the potential to give you the financial freedom beyond your imagination. This is what happened to Sergey Brin, the co-founder of Google. As a matter of fact, he should even be able to afford a whole country - though probably not a big one - thanks to his net wealth of around $23 billion. This American scientist - who was actually born in the Soviet Union - also co-owns two units of private jets, complete with NASA equipment on them. He co-owns those jets with the Google founder himself, Larry Page. Yet, what attracts us more this time is Brin's Tesla Model S. Taking into account that Brin is an early investor in the automaker that builds the car and that he also believes strongly in renewable energy, there's no wonder Brin owns the aforementioned car. However, what we do wonder is why Brin would cover his car in pink - he's not Katie Price. Well, it's not that only Katie may own pink covered cars. You know, she's famous for her pink cars, one of which is her pink Range Rover. As it turned out, it was Google staffs that converted Brin's Tesla into a Batmobile of some sort. The car has a Batman logo on it in addition to protruding Batman rear wings and some long eyelashes for the headlamps. Google Chrome logo can also be seen on the weird looking set of rims. The staffs at Google did that to play an April Fool's Day joke on their boss. Fortunately, Brin took the humour in a good way. In fact, he even took the car for a spin! Well, it seems like Brin is quite a humourous person. But that joke would damage Brin's car, wouldn't it? Well, fortunately, the pranksters only used pink vinyl instead of paint to cover the car in pink. With that being said, there is nothing for Brin to worry about as the damage is not permanent and is easy to revert as well. The pranksters also mentioned that they chose Batmobile because they worked at Google's 'X' project division and that they, at Google, often thought of the division as a 'bat cave'. For your information, the Google's 'X' project division is the division in charge of Google's most visionary ideas and products, one example of which is the Google Glass. What a joke at Google it is!
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I think his comments cheapen the sacrifices of the men and women in Singapore especially when we have soldiers dying or even nsmen having heart attacks during ippt. Its a serious insult to our national pride especially coming from someone who has never sacrificed so much in his life in his cushy aircon office. Source:EDMW
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJjh7lW5OZE From the land that brings you the Golden Horse Awards comes a series of fake accidents intended for insurance claims. The latest incident shows a young man who simply walked onto the road right in front of an oncoming car and squatted down. The best part is, the car has sufficient time to slow down and avoided the pedestrian. This public nuisance is probably risk-adverse and hence resulted in the failed attempt. The footage looks rather hilarious. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDfy6lxuSgo This incident is not the first of its kind in Taipei in recent weeks. Previously, a young girl simply run towards a car and threw herself onto the bonnet, pretending to be injured. The whole incident was captured by the CCTV in the car. Well, at least this young lady is braver than the joker above. However, it looked painfully silly as well. The pair should get some acting tips from the winner of the 2011 Golden Horse Award Best Leading Actor, Andy Lau. Try harder next time!
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http://sg.news.yahoo.com/singapore-eyed-fo...nce-centre.html A regional centre for land transport excellence is planned to be established in Singapore. The Land Transport Authority (LTA) and International Association of Public Transport (UITP) inked on Tuesday a memorandum of understanding to establish and develop the UITP Centre for Transport Excellence for the Asia Pacific region. UITP chose Singapore to anchor its training, research and knowledge activities for the region because Singapore "has demonstrated excellent public transport development with continued innovation...", LTA stated in a press release. To be housed in the LTA Academy on Hampshire Road, the centre is envisioned to be a one-stop land transport knowledge and research hub with a focus on public transport and sustainable mobility. It will also provide training and support to land transport administrations and practitioners in the region, said the agency. Hans Rat, secretary-general of UITP, a network of transport authorities, said, "Ever evolving societies, changing commuters' behaviors and escalating expectations make managing transportation in a city a 'work in progress' always." LTA chief executive Chew Hock Yong said that through collaboration with UITP, the statutory board "can acquire cutting edge knowledge, which helps to meet our vision to deliver a land transport system that meets the diverse needs of an inclusive society and one that provides for a liveable and vibrant global city." The signing of the MOU comes after Singapore's mass rapid transit network suffered three major train disruptions last week, including one breakdown that affected an estimated 127,000 people.
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https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=252341371478960 7x13=28 lol. watch yourself
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They are charging exhorbitant prices. Let's wait and see how long they can hold on to those charges.
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Called 3 times, all Indian FT, don ask me how i am sure from all their r and s pronunciations. asked them for advice, 3 times gave me wrong instructions. faint. the best was the 4th call, a Chinese FT, i am sure again, spoke to me in mandarin, i told him i wanted someone who speak English. he said in mandarin, "wait a moment". he came back on the phone after 1 sec and spoke in his China English. KNN. he think i stupid cannot recognize his voice. never mind i told myself give him a chance. So i asked him how can i reload my phones software and he goes, wow soft the ware... i hot liaoz, i spoke in Mandarin and told him, if he cannot speak English just pass me to one who does, no need to force himself... knn all jokers.
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Three friends
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Elections are coming .................. While walking down the street one day a MP is tragically hit by a truck and dies. The MP's soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter . "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," says the MP. St. Peter says, "Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then ..... you can choose where to spend eternity." "Really, I've made up my mind ... where I want to be in? It's easy ... Heaven !!! " says the MP. "I'm sorry, but we have our rules", replies St.Peter. And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle .... of a .... green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich ...... at the expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the Devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises... The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit heaven," St Peter s ays. So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and the 24 hours in heaven passes by and St Peter returns. "Well, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now which will you choose for your eternity?" St Peter asks. The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers, "Well, I never would have thought it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be happier and better off .. in hell." So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The Devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't understand," stammers the MP. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just, ....... a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened ?!?!?" The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, ............. "Yesterday we were .......... campaigning ......... !!! " " But ............ Today ............. you voted !!!."
